Good morning. This last summer has been a learning kind of summer and I don’t mean academically. Oh! I did finish my course and I had to study for quizzes and tests and for my certification and the final, but that’s not really what I was taught this year.

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And then, gently and tenderly, God would tell us, “Your name is no longer…. but from now on you will be called LOVED, KNOWN, REDEEMED, FORGIVEN, CHOSEN, MINE”.
This scenario was something I went over and over in my mind. Choosing things I would say, changing things, answering questions I would receive.
At the start of 2018 I felt confident of my identity in Christ and that I would be able to help others re-discover it too. By April of 2018 I was floundering! I was restless, annoyed, irritated, hurt and struggling to stay afloat in various relationships. Finally God showed me in a series of images that what I had prepared in my mind for other women to be encouraged should be something I myself study. Again. So I did.
Part of my silence (on the blog) was for that reason. I did word studies on these chosen attributes and took them to heart. I took my time, wrote down verses I liked, meditated on them for a few weeks, and when I felt like I trusted God when He said I am LOVED, KNOWN etc, then I moved on to the next.
So in the midst of studying for quizzes I was studying for myself too. I was re-learning my identity in Christ and taking that truth deep into myself until I could not be shaken.
Don’t you just love God’s timing? And the way He works? I’m simply in awe of how TENDER and GENTLE HE is. He pursued and still pursued me. He showed me ways to come back to Him, my strong ROCK and my FOUNDATION. He put women in my life who constantly spoke truth over me. They reminded me of verses (some of which I did not want to hear in the midst of that hurt!) but they kept checking on me and asking after the state of my heart and what I believed about God that day.
There were so many days that I was mad at God Himself and without these lovely ladies constantly reminding me of His faithfulness and goodness on a daily basis, it would have taken me much longer to make up the quarrel with Him!
I am grateful that He is strong enough for me to throw a fit and still love me. I’m grateful that He is patient with me waiting for me to repent but also giving me a family to encourage me when I needed it. I’m grateful that He leaves the ninety nine for me because I belong to Him and He will not lose anyone given to Him by the Father.
As I type this my daughter is watching the word count go up, and my precious seven year old is impressed by how many words I can write! I have not the heart to tell her that some of my other posts are word heavy! And my little boy is sitting next to me on the other side making me make him numbers out of the cereal (dry) he is supposed to be eating!
I will leave you today with the knowledge that I AM LOVED BY GOD HIMSELF. And if He, the most splendid and majestic God loves me, HE LOVES YOU TOO. Take heart dear friend when you feel lonely and friendless and rejected.
He sees. 
He cares. 
He knows.
He loves you (and me) with an everlasting love. 
And He never goes away. 
I will leave you with some of my favorite verses when I studied being Loved by Him. I hope you are blessed.
Until next time,
Vanessa.
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